Monthly Archives: October 2014

Winning the War on the Bathroom Mess

Sometimes the mess is just too overwhelming. I think it would be easier to blow the house up and start all over. I am at a loss. My mother had a very clean house, but we kids had to stay outside. Drinks were from the hose and no excuses to come in. Our house stayed clean. It was lovely and always smelled like pledge and Pine-sol.
I home school 3 of my 4 kids, so those little gremlins are always around. When they come inside they may have even brought in a critter to help them with their plans to destroy any ounce of sanity i have left.
In an attempt to remain sane, we are always experimenting with new rules to try to keep some organization or cleanliness in our lives. Not many rules work. Applying to their conscious results in laughter, but for the sake of not giving up on the idea that success is just around the corner, I have come up with another plan.
I have locked the bathroom door. They are only aloud to go to the bathroom with my permission. I must inspect the bathroom before and after in my attempt to find out who the culprit is, who leaves the bathroom a mess or if it is the toilet malfunctioning. The kids claim they flushed, they wiped their spit out of the sink, they hung up their towel and their clothes weren’t on the floor when they left the bathroom. When brought to the scene of the crime they too just stare in disbelief at the foulness that is the bathroom. So either the toilet is rejecting the contents, psyching the kids out, making them think they flushed and then it redeposits as they look away, there is a toothpaste phantom with a flare for artistic expression and their clothes are possessed or the other explanation is: they are all liars!!!
Sooo my findings at day 5 are as follows: The mystery of where does the shampoo go has been solved. We were baffled by the empty bottles when the boys still smelled like wet dog when they got out of the shower. Apparently they don’t always shampoo all of their hair, because it could run into their eyes. Well for the love of Pete I would think the offense they are making to their nose should overrule the eye issue. The girls however smell lovely and sometimes forget to wash out the shampoo leaving fun bubbles in their hair and then if they empty the bottles into the tub they have more bubbles and then the bottles can be used in their game. (never again will i buy shampoo that is in the shape of a disney princess.)
The first new rule added to my list of things I thought were a given and need no explanation are rule #1. No one may pee together. No matter how tiny your hiney is, it is not tiny enough to sit with your sister and pee at the same time. It is not possible that there will be no mess. This rule also applies to the boys. This is not a ghost busters reenactment. There will be no “crossing of the streams” if you will. This affects aim!! Aim is very important! Boys should not “write” their name in the water while peeing as if they were playing with sparklers on the 4th of July.
I have also discovered that even though the bathroom has been clean for 5 days, It appears there is a stink stain. So now I am in search of the smell good stain. Something I could spill in key places and it would smell that way with the same stamina as the stinky one.
The soap next to the sink is still a mystery. I have not had to buy a new bottle in about a year. They claim they wash their hands with soap so maybe Elisha made an appearance and like the lady who’s oil never ran out we will have soap forever or maybe my beautiful children have not been so truthful with me about their hygiene standards.
This is one of many experiments we have done to fight this loosing battle against the messy house. As you come over and see the mess, please know we are trying everything we know of. We are even getting creative. Oh and if anyone is aware of a good smell good stain please advise.